Ghosts and Bodies

Ghosts...

Pile on to my past, stack it up fast. let me be an answer and a reason and an excuse.

I can take it, that's what I do.
Been there before, this is just the first time with you.
I can't take it back or feel it less than I do.
I wouldn't change it if I could.
No matter how much pain today will have for me. All I have at the end of this day is my memory.
Deleting that would be a critical error
It would crash my CPU,
It would change me into something that you wouldn't want or someone that might not want you.
So I built a wall with a moat and a key.
The walls tall the moat is deep and the key is lost in history.
Nothing left to do but explain it.
No fixing it, or changing this.
Im starting to like the hollow pounding in my chest anyway, the way my eyelids stay primed, how each outward breath makes my chin heavy on my mind.
Nothing left to do but swallow it down.
Life for me has never gotten so real that I wasn't grounded. Surrounded whatever, dumbfounded?

Bodies

Sand-drab, sand-bad, eyelid-bags, tick-perhaps, guilt-max, time and stars, broken hearts, that feeling-back. You know the one, hope-that.
I'm going to kiss you in rain,  I'm going hold u on bad days, ply you every way, if you let me, let me say, I'm going to say it any day, I'm gonna let you walk away, but I'm gonna make Phoebe make you stay. I'll apologize for this, blame it on sleep missed, say it don't exist, hold on to that kiss... You can laugh at my expense as long as you're smiling in the end, as long as you want to be my friend, I'll hide behind your mulberries, stay outside your fence, I'll never block your pathway, I'll stand at your defense. I'm a boy at your lend, or a big toy for you to ride, I'll discover what's inside. I'm interchangeable, rearrangeable to a point, higher functioning beyond, ready to let go, willing to hold on...