Push the questions aside,
I was only asked to abide.
I Keep the heartache inside,
I didn't say I wanted this
I didn't long for this,
The idea wasn't mine.
Freedom-what a concept.
Does someone know better than I?
Or am I Just soul for the fodder,
a seed's hope in water.
Amongst the cover crops is the cover ups,
The settling,the beauty of questions.
Who'll ask of your perceptions
So maybe I asked myself: what about the sunset, the throw of moonlight through the blinds, the pale silky lines craw down a wall my voice never booms from.
who can see the sky in panoramic heartache vision,
smell a rose just walking by.
You might ask yourself too: "does he still know the sunsets are mine-does he still take these trivial hallmarks of nature's design and assign them their meaningful passages/
Memorialized?"
Years of slow deactivation of time,
lineal distance losing its charge
Stardust...
as the cogs of a heart wear rusty,
like the spring of a clock losing its wind.
Ten minutes till the minute hand slows on 12
the little one as well,
I ask myself about myself:
"do you think of me at midnight-after a bad dream, after a kids screams or a man for that matter-any-damn-thing."
Can you do it too-what I do?
Or can you not cope, rather compensate with resolving the moment, changing you mind into wanting the current
the handful last grabbed,
forgetting the wonder of wanting what’s left,
whatever is-broken don't fix it
nor is it to blame,
reinforce it and coerce it, but we're no longer the same.
Can you lie to the mirror… I scream!
are you fucking crazy or ruthless!
brainwashed or clueless!
who am I talking about, because I didn't ask for this I was only asked to abide. Keep those words in mind,
I willingly Keep the heartache inside, I never wanted this
I didn't long for this,
this wasn't my idea!
My esteemed view of you-I'll never stop it!
I've spent so many years, where I've already tried.
But nowhere-here I am,
I didn't ask for it,
I just stopped refusing to abide.
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